Oh, the Difference One Letter Makes

I dressed up for Halloween this past weekend for the first time in at least 4 years. I was Little Red Riding Hood, and Marco was my wolf. Since Germans stick to scary costumes (luckily the "sexy" costume trend has not made it over here yet), I used liquid latex and fake blood to make scratches along the side of my face.

We had to travel by train and subway to get to the Halloween party, and Marco had not yet put in his fangs and contacts. So, our friends kept commenting on how "cute" he looked, which is not what he was going for.

"Watch out," he said, "I'm a wolf with rapies!"

Yikes. Not sure what rapies are, but let's hope you don't have that! (Obviously he meant rabies.)

Oh, the difference one letter makes...

Since the party started early, we brought some Halloween snacks along too. I made spider cupcakes and jello [vodka] worms (complete with Oreo dirt and served in a flower pot). I was pretty proud of them (even though my spiders were missing 2 legs each).

The next language mistake of the night came a few hours into the party, when I was striking up a conversation with a guy that I had never met before, but who also goes to my university.

The details are fuzzy, but I wanted to ask him if he "had friends [somewhere or something]."

Unfortunately, my question started with the words, "Hast du Freunden..."

Before I could finish me was giving me a weird look and telling me, "Ja... ich habe eine Freundin."

Oh no. Oh no no no. I made the word friend (Freund) plural by adding an "en" instead of just an "e." So when I meant to say "friends," he heard "girlfriend." He thinks I asked him if he has a girlfriend, and now he is trying to end this conversation as quickly as possible.

Oh the difference one letter makes...

How was your Halloween this year?

An American's Reaction to Holidays in Germany

In terms of public holidays, Germany and the U.S. are fairly similar with around 10 public holidays each (the actual number depends on the specific U.S. state or German Bundesland). However, Germany takes public holidays much more seriously than the U.S.

So, on German public holidays like today (Christi Himmelfahrt - Ascension Day), the following situation is embarrassingly common:

When the Germans have a holiday, that means everyone gets a holiday -- even the cashier at the grocery store and the barista at the coffee shop. Considering that I have memories of shopping at Walgreen's on Christmas Day and buying last-minute groceries on Easter morning, Americans definitely have a different perspective on what "public holiday" means.

And no matter how long I live in Germany and respect the fact that everyone deserves the day off, I will still act shocked and appalled whenever I feel the urge to go shopping on a Sunday or a holiday and realize that I cannot. 

Germans: Do you wish stores were open on Sunday/holidays?

Americans: Do you think shop owners/workers deserve holidays off? What about Sundays?

Book Spines | German Problems

Today, I would like to talk with you about a very serious issue. I first noticed this problem my senior year of high school when my friend gave me three old German books that she found on sale at the library. As a new German-learner, I was excited to receive the books. After stepping back from placing them on my bookshelf at home, however, I noticed something horrible: the titles on the spines of the German books were facing the wrong way.

I put together a small selection of the German boyfriend's and my books to show you just how serious this issue is:

Doesn't that look horrible? As an American, I am used to tilting my head to the right to read book titles. Now, however, I look like a chicken as I tilt my head side to side trying to find the book I want (okay, maybe that is a little bit of an exaggeration).

But seriously, does this problem exist with books in other language as well, or was it just German publishers that decided to go against the grain?

And before some smart alack writes it in the comments: yes, I do realize I can just turn the German (or English) books the opposite way. However, this means that the books would technically be upside-down, and what kind of lunatic stores a book upside-down?

Grocery Store Check-Out | German Problems

When asked recently what my least favorite thing about living in Germany is, I had to think long and hard about my answer. While there are things that I think are better in the U.S. (restaurant prices and customer service, for example), there is nothing that stuck out to me that I really disliked about Germany. That is, until I went shopping at the grocery store that evening.

Get your food on that conveyor belt faster! FASTER!!!
(Photo by Wonderlane)

In Germany, there is no such thing as a bagger. This job simply does not exist. So, when you get to the register, you have to either bag all of your groceries as the cashier scans them, or (as most people do) just throw them in your cart as quickly as possible.

For anyone that has shopped at Aldi in the U.S., you probably understand this phenomenon to some extent. However, no cashier in the world can compete with the speed and efficiency of a German cashier.

But it is not just the cashiers that are the problem. Germans are among the most impatient people in the world, and they go nuts when they have to wait in a line at the check-out. So, it is totally normal for the person behind you to bump you with their cart or tell you to move if you leave more than an arm's length of space between you and the person in front of you. They also get annoyed if you do not tightly pack all of your items on the conveyor belt like you are playing tetris. Oh, and heaven forbid you do not set out a divider.

Checking out at German grocery stores is an incredibly stressful activity.

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German Problems: Bottle Deposit

When you purchase a bottled or canned drink in Germany, you typically have to pay a deposit (Pfand). You can tell this by whether or not the label has this symbol on it.

Then, you can bring all of your empty drinks back to the grocery store, put them into a nice machine at the front, and it will spit out a coupon. Give this coupon to the cashier, and they will either give you your money back, or simply take it off of your grocery bill.

For the soft plastic bottles that can only be used once (Einweg), this deposit is 25 cents. For hard plastic and glass bottles that are sterilized and used again (Mehrweg), this is 8 or 15 cents.

For the shocked Americans reading that statement: Yes, glass and plastic bottles are cleaned and reused over and over again. I have read that the average beer bottle is reused 15 times.

Anyways, I really love the whole deposit system. It is a great way to get people to recycle, and it always feels like you are getting free money when you bring your bottles back to the store. The problem is that Marco likes to reuse the 1 Liter plastic bottles at work. So, when I visited his office the other day, I saw this bottle on his desk.

"Oh no!" I said, "the machine probably won't be able to scan that anymore!"

So, we brought this bottle to the grocery store that evening, and sure enough, the damn machine would not take it.

#GermanProblems

Luckily, you can just give the bottle directly to the cashier, but this is not nearly as efficient. At least we got our 25 cents back, though.

German Problems: Garbage Bins

If you spend a lot of time on the internet, then you have probably heard of "First World Problems," "White Girl Problems," or something equally ridiculous. Basically, these are problems that only exist for a certain group of people. So, when Marco made a comment about a problem he had when he took the garbage out the other day, I could not help but laugh, because his complaint was so distinctly German.

So, I figured I would start a new series on my blog called "German Problems." These will be problems that only Germans (or people living in Germany) experience. This first one is called "Garbage Bins."

People sort their garbage here into at least five different sections: compost (bio), paper, glass, plastics/packaging (der gelbe Sack), and the rest. So, in the garbage area outside of our apartment, there are four different colored bins: yellow for der gelbe Sack, brown for bio, blue for paper, and black for the rest. To recycle glass, we have to walk over to the community garbage bins down the road.

So, when Marco walked in from taking out the garbage in the dark the other night, he said:

It was too dark out, and I couldn't tell the difference between the black and brown bins. I may have put the bio garbage in the wrong bin.

#GermanProblems