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Monday, February 8, 2016

Marrying Young in Germany

If you didn't already know, my German boyfriend asked me to marry him, thus becoming my German fianc√©. Exciting, right?! While I have received nothing but congratulations and excitement from my family and close friends, I have noticed some questionable reactions from some of my German peers.



Marco and I have been together for nearly 5 years. We love each other. We have decided we want to be together for the rest of our lives. So, he asked me to marry him.

But that's not the part the Germans have a problem with. The problem is that I am only 25 years old.

The longer I live in Germany and study at a German university, the more I see how many German students (at least at my university) tend to belong to a kind of liberal hive-mind. And according to the faux-feminist logic that women should marry and have children only after building a successful career, considering marriage in your 20's is taboo.

This reluctance towards marriage is reflected in the average age at first marriage in the U.S. and Germany (shown in the table below).

Country Women   Men 
United States
27 years old
29 years old
Germany
30 years old
33 years old
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage

But statistics are not important here. Marco and I are choosing to get married because we want to. We feel ready. And while there my be a such thing as too young, I wouldn't question anyone's choice to get married as long as they were in a mature and loving relationship (and over 18). Heck, my mother was only 19 years old when she got married, and it lasted!

Now, don't get me wrong. nobody has openly told me that I am crazy or that I should not get married. Rather, I have just grown accustomed to questions such as "Really!?" or "But you're so young!" or "Why don't you wait?" when I tell someone I am engaged. And I am not the only one.



I was actually inspired to write this post after reading an article written by a German student at my university (who got married "young" at 25 years old). For those that know German, you can read the article here: http://www2.leuphana.de/univativ/warum-ich-jung-geheiratet-habe/

But don't worry. Nobody can get me down! Marco and I are hoping to get an appointment at the Standesamt (civil registry office) this week, and the wedding planning will hopefully begin shortly thereafter. So, prepare yourself posts about the beautifully bureaucratic process of marrying a German in Germany.

Do you think that 25 years old is too young to get married? At what age did you/your parents get married?

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